My mark on this world is like my footprint in the snow.  Intangible to hold, fading, sometimes clear and others soft.  In some small ways, this is comforting and in others, a total mindfuck.

All I Want

She asked what we truly wanted and this was my reply.

I want to float in the middle of the ocean…held, supported, weightless, rocked gently. I’d fill the ocean with all the salt water inside me and it would thank me instead of telling me to stop. I’d let all my thoughts drift softly like clouds with none weighing me down.

Maybe then I’d come back with an answer of who I am and what I want to be doing with myself.

I felt good about my answer until someone else responded cupcakes.  I could totally go for some cupcakes…

I Am Not a Super Hero

I want to have my hair stroked and be told I’m special.

Well, no, because I’ve had that happen on multiple occasions and it is creepy as fuck.

I want to be told that there is something inside me alone that can save the world.

It will make sense of all I’ve faced to become who I am – the light at the end of the tunnel, the medal for my marathon.

But I am not special.  I am not meant to save the world.  I’m not sure sometimes which hurts more that I can’t save the world or that it’s not my job.

I have looked into the Total Perspective Vortex and seen my insignificance.  There’s a freedom to be had there if only I can let go of the sadness.